Question: If You Could Have a Scene with Any of the Judges…

The Question

If you could have a scene with any of the judges,  who would it be and what would you do?

There are many variations on this question, such as:

If you could have a scene with any famous person from history (or infamous person, or porn star),  who would it be and what would you do?

and

Your boyfriend is going to throw a sex party for your birthday.  Who do you tell him to invite and what will you do at the party?

While we have this grouped under Stage Questions, versions of this sometimes get asked as an Interview Question as well.

What They Are Really Asking

The number one thing the judges (and the audience) want to see here is that hot sex of some sort is always at the front of your thinking.  While you may do a lot of community service and fundraising and teaching as part of a leather title, you got into this because leather makes your dick get hard.  (Even if you are female or trans, you know what I mean!)

And the judges want to see not only that you have sex actively in your consciousness, but that you can and will speak freely about it at a moment’s notice.

In the “which one of the judges” version of the question (the most common variation), they also want to see that you are aware of who your judges are, that you have researched them, that you know at least a little bit about them.

How to Answer This

Since this is such a common question, it is also one you can easily prepare for ahead of time.  The worst thing you can do when this is a Stage Question is to “Um, I don’t know” and spend time thinking about it with the spotlight on you.

Pick one of the judges.  Even if you have not met or been able to find out about all the judges before the contest Meet & Greet, pick one and use him or her if you get this question.  (Really, pick any judge.  Just pick one quickly.  See below for what to avoid on this selection, though!)

Preparing for the other variations of this is harder.  Still, there are enough possible questions about historical figures that you can give some advance thought to having two or three at the tip of your tongue.  Especially useful are ones you can map to particular fetishes, be that Julia Child to foodplay or Pharaoh Ramses to mummification*.  The key thing here is that there is no perfect, right answer; pick one quickly and answer.  If a version of the question throws you off-kilter — like asking for an infamous person — you are probably best picking the first appropriate (!) name that comes to mind and using that.

(As for porn stars, again, pick one quickly and answer.  If you genuinely don’t watch porn and need to answer that way, come up ahead of time with a witty way of answering it.)

If you have a personal favorite fetish — it doesn’t matter if it is boots or fisting or chastity — use that for the “what would you do” part of the question.  Not only should leathersex be frequently in your head, but what you do in leathersex should be there.  There is a good chance that this fetish will have been mentioned on your app, or shown up in the judges’ research of you or in conversation during the Meet & Greet, or be known to some people in the audience.  If you make use of what is naturally yours, you will come across better; if the judges know your favorite fetish and that is not what you choose, that leads them to believe that you are not willing to talk about it.

If one of the judges has a fetish that you know matches yours, you get an easy answer.  If you know one of the judges does not like your fetish, avoid that.  (Exception: if the fetish involves non-consensual play and you can get a laugh or “Eewww” reaction from the audience or the judge because of your choice, go for it.)

There is a tendency  for gay male contestants to select a female judge (or sometimes the reverse with female contestants, but less often), or otherwise one that people know you would never play with.  Sometimes this is for shock — “OMG, he wants to do a scene with her?!“ — but more often, it is because it feels “safe” to choose the one judge with whom you would presumably never have to follow through on what you say.  Do not do this.  Unless you have indicated previously that you are into the opposite sex (or that person), the message you are sending is (a) you aren’t willing to put yourself out for what you really believe/want, and (b) that you don’t respect that judge enough to make a genuine play offer.  (Exceptions: if the scene would be service or non-sexual — bootblacking, for example — go for the judge who best matches that, regardless of gender; appropriateness of answer is always best.  And if you are going to go for an off-the-board selection, be sure to defend that choice as part of your answer, so no one things you are dodging it.)

While we said before to not spend a lot of time standing in the spotlight, thinking about your answer, the reverse is also true: if you have prepared an answer for this, don’t try to beat the clock.  Take a breath or two — count “1… 2… 3…” in your head — and then answer.  Give the impression of briefly thinking about it.

If you are in a monogamous relationship with your partner, do not dodge the question using that as an excuse.  You are not cheating to answer it.  If you need to call out the monogamous relationship as part of your answer, and specifically acknowledge the fantasy nature of the question, go ahead.  (But really: unless you are newly legally married, if your relationship structure requires you to push that detail in answering a fantasy sex question, maybe you should think twice about competing for a title where, if you win, people may well hit on you in various ways at every event you go to.)

* — Note that if you get asked a “historical person” question, now that we have mentioned them, you should not use Julia Child tied to foodplay or Pharaoh Ramses tied to mummification.  If you read this blog and use that answer, remember that your judges may have read this blog also.  Use your own answer, not ours!